the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self-esteem; self-respect.
the state or condition of being aware; having knowledge; consciousness:
I always tell everyone in the midst of them asking for advice or however we end up on the topic of self awareness that “only you know you.” I say it like this “Only I know me, I know what makes me tick, what makes me cringe, what makes me happy and what makes me sad. I know what decisions I’ll regret and I know what I’m capable of.”
I say it with humility, because I’m still on my own journey of peace and self awareness. I know what it feels like to question your actions, not because you don’t trust your instinct but because you’re uncertain how you’ll feel days, weeks, months later. Always second guessing yourself, because instead of looking within, you look outward for acceptance.
I’ve made some decisions that, quite frankly was the worst ones I’ve could’ve chose. I didn’t know me. I didn’t know my full potential of being. I pray, I eat good, I work out, I have a social life, I’m in school. But what does that define? nothing, if at the end of every day you’re not happy.
The people I surrounded myself with, the environment I chose to put myself in. The carelessness of my person, I didn’t know my worth. I didn’t know how dope I truly was; pardon my word choice. I mean, I know who I wanted to be, I just didn’t feel it was obtainable so soon.
It’s when you’ve given up, when you’re past the self loathing stage, and border-line entering depression. That you become aware; bitterness was becoming me.
I never blame anyone, I’m always accountable for my actions, something that came with time and growth. However, I was around a lot of negativity, and there’s truth to the whole “you are the company you keep,” concept. You begin to identify with those around you, you become a member of group think, and less and less a member of what you(I) think.
I didn’t like what it was doing to my positive relationships, projects; nor myself. So I cleaned house! Freed my mind, no longer accepting being anything less of my potential. I’m doing a present cleanse, if it makes sense. I’m constantly removing negative energy to make room for all the endless possibilities of happiness that I know I’m destined for.
I told my dear friend “I don’t know why I do what I do sometimes, I don’t know why I put myself back at square one time and time again.” She responded with this “CAUSE WE ARE YOUNG AND LEARNING!” -SJ
& She’s absolutely right, it takes time, but trust me when I say. “If you believe there’s better for you, or you know you can do better,” than its only you in your way.
Acknowledge your faults, victories, flaunts, flaws, habits, weaknesses, strengths. It will not all come easy, however it will come gradually. And once you know you’re worth, the mere thought of you belittling yourself, or degrading yourself, or harming yourself becomes hilarious. You ultimately want to be great at whatever it is you do, and happy at whatever it is your doing.
Trust me, when the disrespect and negativity come; from people who you can only pity because they don’t know who they are. Come with the audacity to try and pull you off your path; off what you’ve worked so hard to be. It wont hurt you, it’ll remind you, that you’re not in that place anymore to retaliate or to try and hurt, or to get even. YOU KNOW YOU! Understand you, accept you, embrace you; & honor yourself always.
There’s a door in front of you, with endless possibilities and nothing but opportunity waiting for you to own it. There’s two locks on the door, Self worth and Self Awareness are the keys.